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Former Dodger Steve Sax units out to honor the Marine pilot he calls ‘my hero’

The Athletic


ROSEVILLE, Calif. – There may be solely a smattering of baseball memorabilia on show in Steve Sax’s residence workplace, a present of restraint contemplating he was a five-time All-Star.

His Rookie of the Yr trophy is nowhere to be discovered. There isn’t a Silver Slugger Award on a shelf. Neither World Sequence ring resides on a finger.

As an alternative, Sax’s most cherished possessions abound simply out of sight. And on a wet afternoon on this Sacramento suburb, he’s in a nostalgic temper.

“Oh, I wished to point out you one thing,’’ Sax mentioned.

The Los Angeles Dodgers sparkplug rises from behind his desk and returns with a treasure. He lifts a fragile glass cowl to unveil one in every of his favourite artwork items.

It’s a misshapen mannequin airplane with all of the hallmarks of a grade-school challenge. The lumpy black physique is manufactured from clay. Two purple marbles function the jet’s afterburners whereas one inexperienced one represents the touchdown gear.

“So, he made that for me,’’ Sax, 64, mentioned. “He was within the fourth or fifth grade. And he mentioned, ‘Dad, I’m gonna be an aviator sometime.’’’

John was 8 years previous when a pal of the household, a former Navy pilot, took him up in a single-engine, single-seat World Conflict II Soviet fighter known as the Yakovlev Yak. They tooled round skyways above Northwest Oregon and for John, it was love at first flight. After that, the one place he wished to be was within the sky.

Wealthy Ward, the pilot that day, had seen this phenomenon earlier than. “There are some uncommon folks the place you are taking them up one time and it’s over,” he mentioned by cellphone. “Flying is what they’re going to do. I feel they have been reincarnated: they was once birds.”

John Sax was so obsessive about flying that different youthful pursuits, corresponding to baseball, barely registered. A ball as soon as sailed over John’s head as if undetected throughout a Little League sport. Oddly, the child regarded skyward the entire time however by no means budged.

Extra baffled than indignant, Sax requested little Johnny after the sport why he didn’t, you understand, attempt to catch it.

“I noticed the ball,’’ the child protested, “however, Dad, did you see the C-130 going by? Every a type of engines prices 7 million {dollars}!”

Sax, a second baseman who performed for the Yankees, White Sox and A’s in addition to the Dodgers in a 14-year main league profession, laughed as he recounted that story. Quickly he was out of his seat once more, this time reaching right into a show case. He pulled down a poem encased in a silver body.

It’s known as “My Dad: by John Sax.” The outdated font suggests it rolled out of a house printer within the early Nineteen Nineties. It reads, partly:

My dad was with me
after I was born
I do know he’ll be beside me
by means of each storm

“Johnny wrote that for me when he was just a little boy,’’ Sax mentioned. “He received first prize in a contest.”

One other merchandise in Sax’s assortment, nevertheless, remained undisturbed. He doesn’t rise to get it. He merely glowers within the route of an adjoining room, the place an post-mortem report sits banished to a drawer for eternity.

“I haven’t checked out it. I can’t take a look at it,’’ Sax mentioned. “And that’s endlessly. I simply don’t need to see it.”

John grew to become an aviator, simply as he advised his dad he would. He was a star pilot within the navy, tapped for the Marine Corps model of “High Gun” and heralded by his commanding officer as “a pure within the cockpit, simply leaps and bounds above his friends when it comes to his development.”

Capt John J. Sax died with 4 different Marines when the plane he was co-piloting malfunctioned and crashed right into a distant Southern California desert on June 8, 2022.

The rationale Steve Sax has now parted with so a lot of his baseball treasures is that he had dreamed of sooner or later giving them to his son. As an alternative, he holds tight solely to all of the items John gave him.

“He was my hero,’’ Sax mentioned.

That’s the reason Sax is right here now, alternating between tears and laughter, between blissful recollections and debilitating grief, as he embarks on his mission to honor John’s life.


John Sax’s elementary faculty challenge was one in every of many early indicators of his love for flying. (Courtesy of Steve Sax)

If the navy operated like the main leagues, John Sax might need received Rookie of the Yr, too.

“He walked into the room and was simply bigger than life,’’ Lt. Col. John Miller recalled by cellphone. “I see numerous Marine officers verify in. He was simply completely different proper from the get-go. His character, his skill to speak, his motivation, his pleasure – filled with power.”

Miller serves because the commanding officer for the “Purple Foxes,” a squadron based mostly on the Marine Corps Air Station Camp Pendleton (San Diego County).

The unit’s colourful historical past dates again to the Vietnam Conflict when, Miller mentioned, an infantry battalion was below heavy fireplace throughout the battle for Khe Sanh in 1968 and wanted an emergency resupply. The Purple Foxes heard the misery calls and instantly launched, resupplying the Marines and prompting one of many grateful males to answer: “You have been the one ones that gave a s— about us.”

The road grew to become a permanent motto. “Give a s—” lives on within the Purple Foxes tradition. It’s painted onto plane and imprinted on shoulder patches.

It was on this rough-and-tumble tradition that John Sax, the failed Little League outfielder, grew to become a franchise participant. He was particularly adept at maneuvering the MV-22B Osprey, an plane that mixes the agility of a helicopter with the pace of a turboprop. The Marines use the Osprey as an assault help plane.

It was John Sax’s favourite mode of journey.

“He cherished it,’’ Miller mentioned. “It was designed to take off and land like a helicopter, so that you don’t really want a runway, however  to fly in airplane mode at larger altitudes and far quicker air speeds than a typical helicopter.”

Flying within the navy had lengthy been John’s objective, but it surely took some time for Uncle Sam to welcome him aboard. The Navy rejected John due to a shattered elbow suffered throughout a skimboarding accident (Dr. Neal ElAttrache, the famed Dodgers surgeon, dealt with the repairs.) John was later derailed by astigmatism, which additionally required surgical procedure.

However John by no means thought of a Plan B.

“No matter it took, it didn’t matter,’’ Steve mentioned. “It was wonderful to me how pushed he simply was, at the same time as a younger boy. Nothing was going to get in his approach. Nothing.”

Alongside the best way, John earned a level in aeronautical science at Embry-Riddle and amassed flying expertise. As soon as he had the grasp of issues, he even took his mother for a spin. Debbie and Steve cut up when John was younger, however they continue to be on good phrases. They’ve an older daughter, Lauren Ashley, who’s 37.

John took Debbie up in 2015 in a Cessna-172, a single-engine aircraft often called the Skyhawk.

As soon as they reached cruising altitude, John turned to her and mentioned, “Mother, do you need to see what I’ve realized?” She was thrown by the query. They have been already flying.  This was what he’d realized, proper?

Then her John stalled the aircraft, nose-dived for a spell and calmly pulled out of the stall. “Then he seems to be over at me and he goes, ‘Don’t inform my teacher I simply did that,’” Debbie mentioned with amusing.


Steve Sax (proper) along with his son John. (Courtesy of Steve Sax)

Steve Sax had a a lot completely different relationship along with his personal father. John Thomas Sax was a Montana-born truck driver who lived life as if on a phrase depend. He didn’t say a lot of something. Particular phrases corresponding to “I’m sorry” or “I like you” by no means escaped his larynx.

“He was like John Wayne,” Sax mentioned. “My dad was not a talker. He was a doer.”

However his dad’s no-nonsense gruffness pulled Sax from the abyss in the course of the lowest level of his profession. In 1983, the infielder immediately discovered himself incapable of creating routine throws to first base. His model of the baseball yips grew to become so dangerous that it’s now often called “Steve Sax Syndrome.” He made 30 errors that season, and his throws have been so wildly errant that some smart-aleck followers alongside the first-base line at Dodger Stadium began carrying helmets.

“I had 26 errors on the break,’’ Sax recalled. “Folks make that in a profession. I had 26 on the break.”

Much less remembered is that Sax labored his approach out of it. He overcame his throwing woes and completed within the Nationwide League’s prime 5 for fielding share yearly from 1986-1988, then led the American League in ’89 with the Yankees.

“I did! Thanks for remembering!’’ Sax mentioned, laughing. “However I used to be going to let you know anyway.”

What was the remedy for Steve Sax Syndrome? His stern father, John, advised Steve that the one escape was to get his confidence again, and the one approach to do this was to follow manically till he felt like himself once more.

Then, in a uncommon second of vulnerability for John Sax, he confided to Steve that he had the very same situation as a younger participant, and that’s how he obtained out of it as soon as upon a time.

“So I assumed, ‘Wow! If Dad can undergo this, then, in fact, it would work,’’ Sax mentioned. “So I took his recommendation, went by means of follow and obtained my confidence again sooner or later at a time. Finally, I took that confidence into the sport – and the factor was gone.”

That tough-love lesson was the final dialog Sax ever had along with his father. John died on June 10, 1983 at age 47.

It was a number of extra years earlier than Steve realized, to his delight, that Dad had conned him. Steve was reminiscing along with his mother, Nancy, about how Dad’s willingness to open up about his throwing struggles saved his profession. “And my mother whispers, ‘Your dad by no means had a throwing downside,’’’ Sax mentioned.

He smiled. His dad and mom had recognized one another because the fifth grade.

“He simply advised me that as a result of he knew how a lot I revered his energy and power. And I obtained over it as a result of I assumed, ‘Nicely if he went by means of it …’ However he by no means went by means of it!”

The remainder of Sax’s profession was extra enjoyable, particularly in 1988. He kicked off that magical yr by belting a homer because the Dodgers’ first batter of the season. And by October, he was within the on-deck circle for Kirk Gibson’s classic home run towards the A’s Dennis Eckersley in Sport 1 of the World Sequence.

Lesser remembered, aside from on this room, is that the largest spotlight for Sax that season occurred in that candy spot between Opening Day and the Fall Traditional.

On Aug. 15 of that yr, John Sax was born.


Steve Sax (proper) with Tommy Lasorda in the course of the 1988 World Sequence towards the Oakland A’s. (Lennox McLendon / Related Press)

On the worst day of their lives, the information got here in ominous trickles.

Lauren invited her mother and pa over for dinner. Debbie obtained there first, simply in time to learn a textual content from Wealthy Ward, the household pal who had taken John on that life-changing flight. The message was one thing a couple of navy mishap at Camp Pendleton.

“He didn’t say crash,” Debbie mentioned. ‘He mentioned, ‘There was an incident with an Osprey.’”

Debbie known as John’s cellphone and it went straight to voicemail. She checked with John’s spouse, Amber, who hadn’t heard from him. Wealthy advised them to not fear concerning the silence, noting that the navy usually goes right into a communication lockdown if one thing goes haywire.

Debbie wasn’t but anxious, although by the point Steve’s automotive rolled as much as the home, she not less than fretted over the remainder of the squadron. Steve was additionally unfazed; navy pilots are hardly probably the most reachable folks. Unreturned cellphone calls and texts have been the norm.

He recollects going to mattress at 9 p.m. Ten minutes later he heard a knock on the door.

There was a Marine in full gown on his doorstep.

“I knew instantly,’’ Sax mentioned.

Recounting this a part of the story, Sax went quiet for a number of moments. That is the sample. When speaking concerning the crash, Sax’s phrases usually trailed off. He would begin sentences with a full head of steam earlier than working right into a wall of grief.

Then, after just a few beats of silence, he would push by means of. He didn’t struggle tears; he embraced them. Among the many few worthwhile condolences Sax obtained after the accident was when a nun advised him: “Grief is the worth you pay for loving somebody.’’’

It took a full navy investigation over the subsequent 10 months, however the household obtained a full accounting of what occurred that day. Capt. John Sax and 4 different Marines have been getting back from a coaching mission at low altitude on a transparent and sunny afternoon. John had a lunch date scheduled along with his spouse inside the hour. He and Amber had a 2-year-old daughter, and a second little one could be born on Sept. 22.

What occurred subsequent would later be categorized as “a catastrophic mechanical failure.” The Osprey suffered “a tough clutch engagement,’’ which is when the clutch that connects the Osprey’s rotor gearbox to its engine slips. As detailed by the Protection Information, the Osprey ought to instantly switch the facility load from the broken engine to a second operational one. On this case, although, the facility switch blew out that engine, too. There isn’t a third engine.

“It fell,” Steve Sax mentioned, “like a rock out of the sky.” He even is aware of the second of influence, 12:14 p.m. “and 18 seconds.”

The 4 different service members who perished that day have been Cpl. Nathan E. Carlson, 21, of Winnebago, Ailing.; Capt. Nicholas P. Losapio, 31, of Rockingham, N.H.; Cpl. Seth D. Rasmuson, 21, of Johnson, Wyo.; and Lance Cpl. Evan A. Strickland, 19, of Valencia, N.M.

The official report following the navy investigation said, “There was nothing the crew of the SWIFT 11 may have achieved to anticipate or stop this aviation mishap.”

This is likely one of the calamities that put John Sax’s favourite plane below elevated scrutiny. From March 2022 to November 2023, 20 service members died in 4 deadly Osprey crashes, as famous in a recent NBC story. The U.S. navy grounded its whole fleet of about 400 V-22 Ospreys after the crash of an Air Drive Particular Operations Command Osprey off Japan final November killed eight airmen.

Within the case of the Purple Foxes, the fallen crew members stay a well-known presence at Camp Pendleton, the place the brand new era of Marine pilots put on patches bearing their names.

“We discuss them on a regular basis,’’ Miller mentioned. “Once we stroll into the squadron, we have now an enormous plaque with all their photos above the entranceway.

“They’re form of a driving pressure for us to at all times do the correct factor.”



Steve Sax began a basis to assist different children who share John’s ardour for flight obtain their targets. (Courtesy of Debbie Sax)

The primary fundraiser for the Capt. John J. Sax Family Foundation happened on the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Los Angeles on Nov. 7, 2023. Greater than a thousand Marines attended, based on one estimate. Miller, who was John Sax’s commanding officer and closest confidante, wrote Steve Sax a letter within the aftermath of the tragedy:

“John spoke of you usually and about how nice his childhood was. What’s most wonderful to me is that he by no means as soon as talked about that you just have been an expert baseball participant. Humility was his most spectacular character trait. He cherished you, Deborah, Lauren and his household dearly. … His life and legacy are a direct testomony to the way you raised John and for that, you ought to be proud.”

For all the baseball memorabilia he’s given away, there’s one notable doozy in Sax’s residence workplace. It’s a 4-foot by 6-foot portray known as “Babe and the Children,”  based mostly on a well-known 1922 photograph of Babe Ruth surrounded by schoolchildren. Sports activities artist Opie Otterstadt reimagined the photograph by portray all of the “children” as Corridor of Famers. There are baby-faced variations of Roberto Clemente and Sandy Koufax and George Brett.

“I take a look at this portray day by day,” Sax mentioned.

Now, the picture is on the coronary heart of the largest fundraiser up to now for the nascent John J. Sax Household Basis. Interactive digital variations of the portray are for sale, and the proceeds will fund grants for younger individuals who dreamed, as John Sax as soon as did, of withdrawing. “Truthfully, there’s no approach you possibly can ever put a lid on that a lot mild and power,” Debbie Sax mentioned. “So we need to simply hold it going.”

Steve Sax mentioned the inspiration has already given away $10,000 in grant cash to aspiring aviators. The funding obtained a lift when Sax auctioned off all that {hardware} from his baseball profession.

“It doesn’t essentially must be the navy,’’ Sax mentioned. “It could possibly be any person who desires to turn into an astronaut. It’s fairly broad. But when they’ve obtained a ardour for flight, that’s what we’re gonna assist them with.”

Steve Sax hopes the inspiration will hold John’s reminiscence alive. Extra virtually, it offers him one thing else to carry onto, proper alongside the clay fighter jet and the poem.

One of many levels of grief is acceptance, however Sax is nowhere close to that territory, and finds it onerous to imagine such a stage exists.

“As a result of I simply don’t perceive it,” he mentioned. “I do know John’s not right here. However I simply …”

He hits that wall once more.

“… I can’t seize it, nonetheless. You’re shifting ahead however you’re not shifting on. … I strive to consider what John would need. However the one line I heard that actually summed up shedding a toddler was: ‘The ache by no means goes away till you’ve taken your final breath. It received’t go away till your coronary heart stops beating.’

“However I imagine in heaven. And I imagine I’ll see him once more.”

(High picture: Dan Goldfarb / The Athletic; Picture: Daniel Brown / The Athletic)



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